Flamingo Flambé with Brandied Cherry Sauce Recipe

Shy flamingo...soon to be supper...

2 (8-ounce) flamingo breasts with bone and skin (reserve feathers for masquerade entry or festive garnish)
1 ounce melted butter (margarine is for wimps who can't handle butterfat)
1 teaspoon paprika (red stuff...adds a bit of zip...good for Hungarian flamingos)
1 ounce brandy (or 4 ounces, 3 of which should be applied to the cook internally)
1 pinch salt and white pepper to taste

Bing Cherry Sauce
1 (8-ounce) can black bing cherries (or, alternatively, one can black bob cherries...but bing had a better singing voice)
2 tablespoons Burgundy wine (so the recipe claims; me, however, I grab whatever decent, zippy red wine we happened to have saved the last glass or so of for cooking...since we drink mostly Cabs, Merlots and Zinfandels, it's usually not a Burgundy)
2 tablespoon sugar (don't even try to use the pink stuff...live a little)
1/2 teaspoon cornstarch
1 pinch salt


Preparing Bing or Bob Cherry Sauce:
Drain juice from cherries (into a pan would be good...if you've just poured it down the sink, you are so screwed). Combine juice with wine, sugar, cornstarch, and salt; mix thoroughly. Do not drink this mixture.  The cornstarch will seal your colon shut.  (Okay, that's a lie, probably.)  Bring mixture to a boil until sauce thickens. Have you ever noticed that recipes don't tell you how long that's going to be?  And when they do, it's a rank canard?  (Nevermind...different fowl recipe.) Add the drained cherries.  To the sauce.  Stir 'em up a little.  Set the sauce aside.

Turn off that burner.

Cooking the Flamingo:
Season flamingo breast with salt, white pepper, paprika, and brush with butter.  You've done this correctly if your fingers are pink and the flamingo breast looks a bit like it originally did with the feathers on.  Bake for 30 minutes at 325 degrees F. or until cooked and tender.  Remove from oven (remember the first rule of chemistry and baking: hot glass looks just the same as cold glass).  Place flamingo in a medium-size ovenproof serving dish and cover with sauce. Have table set (with dishes), candles (or guest) lit, all accompaniments on table, and turn off lights when ready to flambé.  Make sure you can still see what you're doing, however. 

How to flambé:

Pour 1/4 ounce of brandy over dish (well, over flamingo and into dish, actually) and place in middle of table. Using long wooden matches, ignite flamingo breast. When flame goes out and liquor has burned off, you are ready to serve.  It is generally not advisable to do the flaming-lighting thing within 15 minutes of having applied the spare 3 ounces to the inside of the cook.

Yield: 2 servings

* Now, how much is a pinch, you ask?  Well, that depends on your fingers.  But you can't say "to taste" in a chicken  flamingo recipe anymore, because some idiot will put it on the raw chicken  flamingo and then lick it and then you get liability problems for harming some poor git, when you should be receiving medals for thinning the herd and improving the gene pool.  But I digress.